MOVIE REVIEW: “JURASSIC WORLD!” (Spoilers Are Likely To Happen!)

JURASSIC WORLD! Taking place nearly 20 years after the first film. John Hammond’s Dream of the greatest Theme Park experience has come to fruition.

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Jurassic World has been fully operational for the past 10 or so years. And Park Runners are afraid that visitors are going to get board with your average, run of the mill Dinosaurs. So the most logical thing they could think of was to slash ticket prices and include more Dino-Shows.. And that’s the end of the film…. (Really?!) HA! Fuck No! They get the smart ass Idea, that they should play god again, and create a brand new Dinosaur!

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THE INDOMINUS REX! Their very first Genetically Engineered Hybrid! Of course, as a movie goer we are inherently smarter then the people/characters Β on screen! But more on that later.. Lets get to the review..

THE CAST: Fantastic! Really top notch!

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Chris Pratt plays Owen Grady, (The guy who’s an expert on dangerous animals and the one no one listens to until the very end)

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The beautiful Bryce Dallas Howard, (Whom, I’m totaly crushing on right now) Plays Park Head and Show Runner, Claire. The uptight control freak who thinks she has everything under control.

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Our boy, Kingpin, aka Vincent D’onofrio plays (SPOILER!!!!) An Undercover (of sorts) N-GEN operative who oversees the Raptor Training Program, that Owen Grady is running.

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B.D Wong, Dr. Henry Wu. The only original returning character to appear in the film. Though his role in the original film was considerably small and non important. IN THIS ONE!? Holy Shit! (SPOILER!!) Dont trust the quiet genetic scientist.. Sneaky scumbag!

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THE PLOT: (SPOILERS, HERE AND THERE. SO HEADS UP!!). Β Jurassic World has been running great and incident free. For over Ten Years. As spectatership begins declining a new attraction is created to boost profit margins. But When The INDIMINUS REX, breaks loose, so does all hell! In hopes not to alarm Park Goers, Claire and Park Owner Mr. Masrani decide to take steps to get the situation under control. When all else fails and Mr. Masrani is (BEEEPPP!) Vincint D’onofrio’s Character steps in and decides to use the Raptors to hunt the I-Rex down.

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In an attempt to access the Raptors usefullness and skill, if used for Military purposes. But When the Raptors come Face to Face with the I-Rex, Oh Boy! (BEEEEEEPP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP!) What the fuck is that Beeping? [incoherent mumbeling] What do you mean I can’t spoil that?! It’s the reason why I put a SPOILER WARNING! At the beginning! [Incohernt mumbeling] FINE! whatever! Although predictable at some points! The plot in itself is actually entertaining and surprising at times! JURASSIC WORLD feels like the True sequel to Jurassic Park. It completley erases LOST WORLD and JP3, without the use of Time Travel! Throughout the film are a lot of nods to the original. Some subtle, others, not so much. There is even a very sly “Cameo” by Jeff Goldblum’s Ian Malcome.. Very small and very subtle. But it made me laugh nonetheless. (If you have seen the movie, let me know if you’ve seen the Ian “cameo”)

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THE BAD: For Fucks sake!!! Can’t These people ever learn!? When someone says “Evacuate the Island.” Evacuate the fucking island! “We are sorry folks.. Due to some technicals difficulties, and for your safety! we need you all to report to the nearby cruise liner and wait there until further notice! Thank you for visiting Jurassic World!” Fucking simple! But of course.. Summer block busters need extremely stupid smart people to help progress the plot. And I probably would be called out for this. But.. NO! There is no Running through Jungle Terrain and outrunning certain killer Dino’s in stiletto heels!! Not that I know personally.. BUT FUCK NO! You add a fucking scene where she changes in to boots or something!! Also.. The movie could have used a few more minutes run time.. Just saying!

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THE GOOD: THE RAPTORS!! My goodness! The Raptors! The one of two things you don’t see coming (at least I didn’t see them coming!) Was how well the Raptors were used in this film! And HOW they were used. The HUGE Cameo at the end was worth the price and admission. The Climax was.. Perfect, to say the least. And the movie itself, layers out a very interesting foundation for the upcoming sequels.. (A certain someone escapes the madness with very important… Uhm.. “Things”) I can’t wait for what comes next! And above all else.. THE NOSTALGIA FACTOR! It really is an amazing thing to experience.

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OVERALL: JURASSIC WORLD, is by far, The greatest Sequel/remake/reboot of a franchise, I have ever seen. In my life!! It’s Fun, Funny, Thrilling, Epic, Predictable as holy fuck!! BUT EPIC!! The film is about 1hr.55mins long. Give or take some seconds. But the last ten or fifteen minutes ALONE! Is worth price and admission. I swear! It’s so damn badass and epic, I was litterally jumping out of my seat, cheering and screaming! I’m bitting my tunge, so as not to spoil the ending for you! Sure, I can tell you, “Look for it online, just so you can see it and shit.” But NO! Jurrasic World.. Is something you need to experience on the big screen! ESPECIALLY! If you are a fan of the franchise (sequels included.) I personally. Feel so good to have experienced it in the theater.

I Give JURASSIC WORLD (scale of 1-10) A 🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟 8/10!

There you have it! My Review of JURASSIC WORLD! What are your thoughts? Let me know by commenting below, PLEASE subscribe to the blog. Hit me up on Twitter and Instagram. And here’s an idea.. GIVE ME A MOVIE YOU WANT ME TO WATCH AND TO REVIEW!

So, Until next time folks.. Peace out!

[Psst! YO! It’s me.. Speculating Nerd.. Just wanna add.. BRYCE DALLAS HOWARD FOR CAPTAIN MARVEL!! FUCK YEAH!!!]

Hey!!?? Get the fuck off my Movie Review!!

[Peace!..]

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