Hey Brohams and Gal-hams (?)!! The Speculating Nerd back again with another Trailer Review, and This time we look at..
“BATMAN V. SUPERMAN: DAWN OF JUSTICE”..
😦😦😦 Uhhh.. Okay! Well, How can I put this without sounding too mean… Okay, lets try this.. “I feel like.. I was getting the greatest blow job EVER.. And then.. My dick was suddenly bitten off.. Like, completely just, MAULED OFF! There’s just.. Sack! All Balls.. No shaft..”
Now that’s not to say it wasn’t entertaining as fuck! Cause holy shit there were some great shots in there. Totally epic! And then.. WB said, lets not just shit on this. Lets completely take a ‘we drank Mexican water’ type of dump on this! And lets also show the world what kind of Lex Luthor they are really in for..
The guy who created Facebook turns into the Riddler?!?
THIS.. IS HOW THE TRAILER SHOULD HAVE BEEN..
WHY THE FUCK COULDN’T THEY HAVE DONE SOMETHING LIKE THAT??!! you don’t tell us they become friends at the end!! We already know they will! It’s about the fucking journey to that end we want to see, you dickbags!
The closing shot was fucking awesome.. No doubt about that.
It’s the fucking Trinity! That spells EPIC!.. But in this case, it spells, SPOILER!!! You wanna add WW In the trailer? USE DIFFERENT SHOTS! Don’t give us the money shot! Fucking WB.
DOOMSDAY!?.. Remember way, way, WAAYY Back in the day, towards the final run of the original Ninja Turtles Cartoon of the 90’s, and they had the Turtles mutated in to bigger, spikier, more badass versions of themselves?…
Then, mix that with the CGI effects of the Current Ninja Turtles.. And you got..
Oops! Wrong pic..
“Cowabunga MotherFuckers!” (Anyone else notice Michael Shannon/Zod’s CGI face in there? Or is it just me?) Now. To be fair.. This is the 3rd BVS trailer… We are, 4 months away, I’m sure more digital rendering will go into DD before the film is released. So who knows if he’ll still look this way 4 months from now. But we DID NOT need to see him just yet! Seriously, he could have waited.
Calling it right now.. This right here..
All a Dream Sequence being had by, wait for it, WONDER WOMAN!
BUT! That’s just a.. “SPECULATION”
Huh! Huh! See what I did there?
In closing, WB should take this trailer. Shave off the last minute and some-odd seconds and re edit this whole thing. And then say “Fooled you! Here’s the real trailer!” Until then.. It’s just a really really good trailer. Nothing more..
COMING UP NEXT!! I review the first trailer of.. Drum roll please..
So, until then.. Peace out!