Greetings Ladies and Gentelnerds, and welcome to another addition of “What Went Wrong With..!” And today we are gonna look in to..
“WHAT WENT WRONG WITH..!”
“Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice”
Before I begin. Please be advised that I will be delving in to Major spoilers territory. So! If you have not yet seen BVS, and don’t want to be spoiled by what I bring up… Please feel free to click on to any other of my blog articles that might peek your interest.
Again… THERE BE SPOILERS AHEAD!! (You’ve been warned)
Fisrt and Foremost: THE DIRECTING: Or lack there of was… FUCKED UP! To say the least. Zack Snyder is.. A Cinematographer on Steriods! He knows how to make shots look beautiful. He knows how to set them up In Such a way, that I doubt we will ever find another like him for a very long time. BUT! That does not make for a great director. To me, a director not only sets up the shot and trys to get the best angle possible, But he/she must also TELL A STORY!! Making things look good is the Cinematographers job. That’s what makes them so important. The right Director and the right cinematographer is the one-two punch secret of making a movie. (Besides, OF COURSE, The Writers. It is team effort) But in sticking with the Director/ Cinematographer topic for the moment.. Zack can’t be both! And he is much more suited to being a Cinematographer, then a director. He can’t tell a coherent story if it saved his life. With BVS, it seemed like he was more concerned with setting up the next “BIG SHOT” then telling a Story. And it’s very noticeable.. (At least to me) From the opening credits, to the very last shot. The direction was not solid. It’s all over the place.
I have seen the film already about… Five times. Once in theaters, the rest?.. Well… Lets just say…
(Fuck you! Only God can Judge Me!!)
So, I’ve been looking at this movie very closely. So this next thing sticks out a bit..
THE EDITING: Was very sloppy. It was all over the place. There were several scenes that were not necessary. I found myself looking at scenes that should have been here, but it was there, and vice versa. Again, that failure lands on the shoulders of the director. It almost seems like he didn’t show up to the editing room. He gave the editor a list of his shots that he wanted in the final cut and said, “See you in a few days!” And IF Snyder was in that editing room the whole time.. Then he really is a dumbass.
(Allow me a moment to re-edit a few things: First- Take out the stupid Batman origin in the opening credits (don’t need that) replace it with the Bruce Wayne in Metropolis during the events of Man Of Steel’s finale. Then open with the Knightmare Sequence (more on that in a few) Make it a little longer. Then reveal the “it’s a Dream” aspect with Batman waking in bed with that ‘Mystery lady’ Second- When we first meet Lex, he’s trying to get some senators to agree to allow him to ship a giant load of Kryptonite into the country. In the tail end of the meeting, he’s asking/demanding/bargaining one of the Senators in to giving him access to the Kryptonian Ship and Zod’s body. We have a split time lapse of him asking and getting what he wants at the same time. He gets Zod’s body and uses a piece of Kryptonite to slice off Zods finger prints. Not before we see him in the aformentioned Ship. Now keep in mind, during that scene, he’s wearing a powder blue suit. (Here’s where the editing fucks up) We see him on the ship again, an Hour and 45 minutes later, wearing said blue suit, using Zods prints to gain access in to the Genisis Chamber, where he uses Zods little black “USB” to active the ship and learn all of its secrets!… These pieces would have been better suited to have been a whole complete scene. The second half had no place in being toward the near end of the film.That’s about it for me.. But there is a lot of really weird editing choices.
THE DREAMS!!: The FUCKING Dreams.. I counted.. At least..3 stupid fucking dream sequences! Including the opening Batman origin scene. It’s a dream sequence too. The Bats he finds down the hole he falls in as a kid, lift him up and out of the hole.. STUPID! So stupid, they needed Ben Affleck to do a voice over explaining that it’s a dream. Another completely stupid dream, is one where Batman visits his parents parents grave, leaves flowers for his mother, and blood starts to leak from her tomb.. As he looks closer, I giant monster Bat breaks through and attacks him.. Causing him to wake up in bed with the aforementioned “Mystery Woman” (Something tells me.. That Woman, is Jenna Malone and her part was cut out of the film..) Why the fuck was that dream necessary to keep in the movie? What Purpose to the story did it serve? ABSOLUTELY NOTHING!! It was fucking Stupid!
(I recently reflected on this next dream.. And trying to make sense out of it hurt my brain..) The Knightmare Batman dream… Why, oh why! Would Batman Dream of PARADEMONS.. And the OMEGA SYMBOL.. When he has no prior knowledge of these things ever existing!!?? (‘But it was just a dream bro!’) is what your probably saying.. But! In the context of the film, In which it’s a Batman fearing what A Superman would do to the world if left unchecked… Shouldn’t the dream be more about.. Batman leading a rebellion against Superman!? Shouldn’t there be a giant ‘S’ burned into the ground not an Omega Symbol? The first half of the dream should have gone the way it was going. But without the PARADEMONS flying in. And at the start of the film. And the Second half
Should have been revisited later on the film, Just Before Flash’s big Cameo with a warning from the future! But the way it’s presented.. Literally feels like two different dreams in one! None of it fit together coherently. The Parademons felt like an after thought, shoved in, to hint at something else to come. Stupid!
THE PLOT!: This was DC/WB’s Hail Mary pass at building it’s Cinematic Universe. So they shove everything and the kitchen sink into this movie! (Literally! Batman whacks Superman over the head with a Sink during the fight) Granted.. It’s a big movie.. But, a film like this. Should, logically, have a total of.. 3, maybe 4 Sub-Plots in order to carry the film to its ultimate goal. AND all those plots, MUST tie into the main plot in a cohesive fashion. BVS, had a total of.. (At least by my count) 6 or 7 fucking sub-plots! WHAT THE SERIOUS FUCK?!? And you people thought Zack Snyder was the man for the job?!? Fuck! I’m gonna try and count down the ones I noticed, 1. U.S Senate/Government had a thing against Superman, 2. Batman was tracking some Russian Mercenary (Rumored to be KGBEAST) which leads to 3. Batman looking into Lex Luthors files to find out what is what, 4. Lex wanted Kryptonite, 5. Lois trying to clear Supermans name in an incident with a African Terrorist, 6. Lex framing Superman for said incident and the explosion of the U.S Senate (which is then discarded quickly) 7. Batman Wants Kryptonite!, 8. Lex wants Batman and Superman to kill each other for some reason, 9. Wonder Woman is investigating Lex because he has a picture of her from WW1!, 10. Lex is keeping tabs on other MetaHumans (IE: Flash, Cyborg, and Aquaman), 11. Batman Hates Superman, 12. Superman does not approve of Batmans methods, 13. (Holy fuck I’m on 13!) Flash’s warning From the Future! Aaaaannndd…. 14. THE DEATH OF SUPERMAN!! HOLY FUCK! 14?!? Damn this fucking movie was overstuffed!
Now. To be fair to BVS.. Movie Batman has been killing people since 1989.. But geez!! He outright MURDERS PEOPLE! With GUNS! Cars! Brands! His Bare Hands! He Kills! You would think.. After all these years of Batman Killing on Film.. They would try and NOT have him kill anyone on THIS movie!? Just a suggestion!
BATMAN/SUPERMAN: The relationship between these two characters was not even the focus of the movie! The title of the movie.. IS A LIE!! Until the very end! It’s DC’s big two.. And they failed to establish any type of real.. Feelings between the two of them. They meet a total of 3 times. Once at the party, the second in the “Do You Bleed?” Scene, then the third time.. Is the fight! Literally.. That’s it! And the way they stop the fight!.. STUUUPIIDDD!!! “Your mom’s name is Martha?! My moms name was Martha! Dude! We should be friends!” You fucking scumbags!! “I’m a friend of your son” he tells Martha Kent after rescuing her.. Fuck No your not! You just tried to kill him a few minutes ago!!… FUCK! Supermans Funeral: “I failed him in life.. I won’t fail him in death” You wanted to KILL HIM the day before you fuck bag!! DAMN IT DC!! The Fuck!?
THE DEATH OF SUPERMAN!: You fucking Scum Suckers! You. did. not. EARN THAT!! You put so much into this film and then you Crowbar in The Death of Superman!? Have you no fucking respect for this character!? I felt NOTHING! I felt nothing but.. “Oh!.. They went there?.. They killed Superman?”
Surprise was all I could give. I should have been in tears! You should have made me FEEL! But No! You dumb fucks don’t know what to do with Superman in a solo run, that you decide to have him float around the whole movie like a fucking Ornament, and then Kill him off! “Oh, we’ll just figure out a way to bring him back in the Justice League movies! “FUCK YOU DC!” Now I’m pissed! Your Greatest Superhero besides Bats and WW.. You treat him like Shit! You gave him nothing to do but mope around and feel sorry for himself, and then sacrifice himself in the worst possible way!
HERE’s HOW IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN DONE!: (Because I’m a Smart-Ass!)
Man of Steel 2: The aftermath of MOS. Government elements from this movie. Lex is Main Villain, He creates..(wait for it) BIZZARRO (You dumb fucks! Not doomsday!) over the course of the battle, Superman earns love and respect from the world and Metropolis. (Batman cameos from the sidelines like, “Yeah, whatever. But he’s still dangerous!”)
-Batman Solo movie- (Maybe) or a REAL BvS Film!
MOS 3! Doomsday arrives on earth and the world looks to their savior, Superman to save the day! If you Must! THAT!! Is when you Kill Superman! Introduce the Trinity here, and in front of the whole world.. Superman makes the ultimate sacrifice, and dies protecting the world he loves from this monster! Hence earning the monument and the candle light vigils and Shit!
BUT! DC/WB were in such a mad dash to catch up with Marvel Studios.. That they shoved 3 movies worth of storytelling into one film. And everybody sees their mistakes! You had TWO FUCKING YEARS to make this movie DC/WB. And….
MAKE IT EPIC!.. And you failed!.. Maybe not miserably.. But. You. Failed!
Try.. PLEASE.. As you continue forward with this DC Cinematic Universe.. TRY to show these characters that we LOVE, some Respect!
I think I dragged on long enough.. Would love to hear your thoughts.. BUT! Before you accuse me of Hating on DC and being a Marvel Lover. Let me say this.. I do LOVE Marvel.. I AM a Marvel Fan.. But! I also LOVE DC.. I AM A COMIC FAN! Marvel and DC are my Life.. But I am not gonna put up Blinders around my eyes and say this Movie was the greatest thing ever. The Company I Love.. Miss used the Characters I Love! And I am not afraid to call them out on it!
“HEY, DC.. Do better next time! FOCUS!”
Now I’m done! Thank you all very much for reading. I hope I made some sense to you. Would like to hear your thoughts!
So, Until next time folks… Peace Out!